Dicks, Balls & Arses
Top Four Q&A (Dicks, Balls & Arses)
All Q&A (Dicks, Balls & Arses)
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Q. How do I clean my ass before having sex?
A.View AnswerThe best way to clean your ass is to douche. Douching is the process of cleaning out your rectum with water. Some men prefer to douche before anal sex, however with a healthy high-fibre diet, you’ll generally be sufficiently ‘cleaned out’; so it’s not necessary for enjoyable fucking. Click on the link below to read our “how to douche” guide.
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Q. Why is my cock so big? I'm 13 and my cock is huge… about 25cm flaccid. Is this normal? I can barely fit it in my briefs. I also have pubic hair growing on my knob, is that the norm?
A.View AnswerA lot of young guys worry about whether their dick is normal or not. But there really is no such thing as normal when it comes to shape and size of your cock. They come in all shapes and sizes and you can have awesome sex regardless of how big or small it is.
As for the hair on your cock, there are options for hair removal if it bothers you. The best thing to do would be to visit a clinic that specializes in hair removal. They will be able to assess your situation and recommend an appropriate treatment. Don’t be embarrassed about discussing your situation with a professional – they are there to help and are used to dealing with all manner of issues.
If you feel like you need to talk to someone more about it, we suggest calling 0800 80 2437 to make an appointment with one of the NZAF’s free nationwide counsellors. NZAF counsellors are there to listen and are used to talking through issues of all kinds.
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Q. Why do some guys cum so fast? When my mate and I have a mutual wank he seems to cum very quickly (like in 5-10 mins). He doesn’t want to call or visit a doctor what should he do?
A.View AnswerPremature ejaculation is a common issue for many guys. But to be honest, it doesn’t sound like your mate has much of a problem. It’s not unusual to reach orgasm within 5-10 minutes when you’re wanking.
If your mate is really bothered by it, then slowing down and increasing his ‘staying power’ is the answer. When he feels an orgasm edging on he can try stopping and waiting until the ‘heat’ slows down a bit and then starting again. If he keeps doing this he should be able to last longer.
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Q. How long does it take for your penis to grow to its full length? And how long does your penis get? I am 13 years old.
A.View AnswerGenerally speaking, your cock stops growing in your late teens but this does vary from person to person. Some guys are earlier and some later.
As for size, a lot of young guys worry about whether their dick is normal or not. But there really is no such thing as normal when it comes to shape and size of your cock. They come in all shapes and sizes and you can have awesome sex regardless of how big or small it is.
If you feel like you need to talk to someone more about it, we suggest calling 0800 80 2437 to make an appointment with one of the NZAF’s free nationwide counsellors. NZAF counsellors are there to listen and are used to talking through issues of all kinds.
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Q. I'm 14 and my foreskin seems to be on its way to pulling back properly but the glans of my penis are extremely sensitive and I can't touch them because it hurts too much. A condom doesn't hurt though. And it's fine during sex. Is there a way to deal with this problem?
A.View AnswerFor some guys, the foreskin doesn’t fully retract until their late teens so your problem is not unique. A steroid cream can help with sensitivity; however you would be best to visit a Urologist who specialises in this area. They can take a look and give you the most accurate medical advice.
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Q. What does a virgin ass look like? Someone told me that they can distinguish between a used hole and a virgin one. So please tell me the differences between a virgin butt hole and used butt hole.
A.View AnswerLike cocks, assholes come in many different shapes and sizes. Some appear to be shut tight and some may appear to be a little looser but this is not necessarily an indication of being ‘used’ or not.
In most cases after anal sex the sphincter muscle (asshole) will contract back to its normal tightness. Because some are naturally tighter than others, there is no way to tell if someone is a virgin or not just by looking at their hole.
Some guys like to have their hole stretched with heavy-duty activities such as fisting or prolonged butt plug use (a sex toy specifically designed to stretch the hole). These activities can cause an asshole to appear looser over time. But keep in mind that not everyone is into this kind of stuff… simply getting fucked with a cock should not cause your asshole to look any different.
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Q. I am 19 years old and have phimosis. It’s not the most intense phimosis but it’s still present. I’ve used the steroid cream provided and it only allows me to retract my foreskin while flaccid. My concern rests in anal sex; is it possibly damaging to give anal sex with this condition?
A.View AnswerWith the correct use of condoms and lube it is unlikely that anal sex carries more risk of causing damage than masturbation or vaginal sex.
If your foreskin is forward, and you use condoms and lube, then the condom should help keep your foreskin place when having sex. But don’t apply lube inside the condom, as that will create too much movement within the condom.
If you notice any discomfort or have any concerns you should contact a medical professional, i.e. Urologist.
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Q. I am 19 years old and have phimosis. It’s not the most intense phimosis but it’s still present. I’ve used the steroid cream provided and it only allows me to retract my foreskin while flaccid. My concern rests in anal sex; is it possibly damaging to give anal sex with this condition?
A.View AnswerWith the correct use of condoms and lube it is unlikely that anal sex carries more risk of causing damage than masturbation or vaginal sex.
If your foreskin is forward, and you use condoms and lube, then the condom should help keep your foreskin place when having sex. But don’t apply lube inside the condom, as that will create too much movement within the condom.
If you notice any discomfort or have any concerns you should contact a medical professional, i.e. Urologist.
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Q. I am a 25yo male and I get horny when I sleep. Almost every day I wake up with an erection. Sometimes I worry what will happen if I am sleeping at a friend’s house or on the bus and find myself in this situation. Help!
A.View AnswerMost healthy guys wake up in the morning with an erection; it’s often referred to as ‘morning wood’. Waking up usually occurs after a session of Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep. Just about everyone gets an erection during REM sleep, while you’re dreaming. That’s why you often wake up from a dream, with a hard-on.
Unfortunately there’s not a lot you can do to avoid it because it is completely normal. It can be embarrassing if you’re sharing a room or staying at a friend’s house. One thing you could do is set your alarm clock for 10 or 15 minutes earlier to give it time to go down. Or sneak into the bathroom and have a quick wank.
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Q. My penis foreskin is really tight and it won't fold back at all when erect. I have seen my GP and I am currently awaiting a referral. If I have sex in the meantime, what infections am I and my sexual partner at risk of?
A.View AnswerRegardless of what is happening with your foreskin, if you use condoms and lube you are very low risk of any infections. Click on the link below to order free condoms and lube.
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Q. I'm 20 and gay, and have had anal sex as a bottom. I want to try being a top, but my foreskin doesn't retract when I'm hard (I can only see the top of my head) and I'm concerned that this will be painful if I do have sex and so don't want to try? Is this something I should be worried about?
A.View AnswerYou should get a specialist to look at your foreskin, if for no other reason than to give you peace of mind for the first time you try being a top. The best place to start would be to make an appointment with an NZAF counselor by calling 0800 80 2437. They will be able to recommend gay-friendly GP’s and specialists who are professional and willing to help you.
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Q. I just turned 18 and my boyfriend has been asking for anal sex. I am open to the idea, but really worried about being embarrassed by any smells he might smell or him getting any gross stuff on his penis. What can I do to make sure my ass is clean and free from crap when he tries? He's also talked about fingering my asshole, but I don't want his fingers to stink afterwards. What shall I do?
A.View AnswerYou can douche. Douching is the process of cleaning out your rectum with water. Click on the link below for a great guide on how to douche.
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Q. How do I clean my ass before having anal sex without using a douche?
A.View AnswerIf you don’t want to buy a douche kit you can try the DIY approach and use a drink bottle with a sipper top. Click on the link below for a detailed guide on how to douche.
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Q. How to put a condom on an uncut cock? I know how to put a condom on a circumcised penis, but when I found out my boyfreind is uncut I freaked because I dont know how to put a condom on uncut penises. I heard you have to roll the foreskin back then roll it back onto the penis etc but im so confused! Does the foreskin roll back, the condom go on, and the foreskin goes over on top of the condom?
A.View AnswerDon’t roll the foreskin back as this can cause the condom to come off when the foreskin slides back into place. Most uncut guys use the two-hand method of putting on a condom. Unroll the condom about 1cm, stretch the condom open using two finger from each hand and pull it over his head and down the shaft, then gently unroll it to the base of his cock. We have an awesome video that shows exactly how to do this. Just click on the link below to watch.
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Q. Does anal sex cause the anal sphincter to become loose? Can it get back to be like the very first time after having anal sex several times?
A.View AnswerGenerally speaking, no, anal sex does not cause the sphincter to become loose. The anal sphincter is usually quite elastic and with patience will stretch comfortably and return to it’s normal size after sex. To prevent any damage to the sphincter be sure to penetrate the opening slowly with your well-lubed finger and then try two or three fingers. This helps to open up your ass before getting fucked. If you use plenty of water based lube (and condoms of course) when fucking the likelihood of damaging the sphincter is small.
However, forced entry – ‘pushing past the pain’ which is often shown in porn –, very large dildos, butt plugs and fisting can cause bleeding and tear your sphincter muscles.
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Q. What sort of condoms and lube should I use in the shower? I'm going to have sex in the shower with my FWB but I need to know what kind of condom we should use.
A.View AnswerLatex condoms and water-based lube are quite safe for use in the shower, but you should check and re-apply lube regularly as the water can potentially wash away the lube. Order free condoms and lube by clicking on the link below.
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Q. Why does my ass get tight when I finger myself? Every time I try to finger my self it gets tight and I can't work around it. What do I do?
A.View AnswerIf your ass suddenly tightens, don’t be alarmed. It’s just an automatic response by a muscle called the sphincter. The way to work around this is to penetrate the opening slowly with your well-lubed finger and then let the sphincter tighten. As soon as it tightens, pull your finger out again. Wait 30 seconds and then begin to finger your arse again – this time you’ll find it a lot easier.
If you liked a finger inside you, try something bigger – two or even three fingers, or maybe a dildo (start out small). Remember when you’re playing with your arse not to push objects all the way in – it can be extremely difficult to get them out again!
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Q. Why do I cum so quickly? Whenever I get a hand-job or have sex I cum very fast. I am 25 years old. Please help me.
A.View AnswerPremature ejaculation is one of the most common sexual issues that men face, so you are not alone. In fact, it can affect up to 30% of men. There are a lot of different factors that can cause you to cum quickly such as anxiety, repetitive learned behaviours, excessive arousal or muscular tension. Figuring out which factor or factors are affecting you is key to helping overcome it. There is a great article below that has tips for overcoming each of these issues:
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Q. Can having anal sex damage you internally? I think I read it somewhere. Like, if his cock goes in pretty far, can it do damage inside you? Like to your organs and stuff?
A.View AnswerIt is somewhat rare to get internal damage from anal sex if you do it correctly. When having anal sex you need to use a good water-based lube (and condoms, of course) and start slow to not cause damage to the anal sphincter. Once your ass is relaxed and you start fucking there is unlikely to be any issue. However, if the top is too rough or his cock is incredibly large there is the possibility of some bleeding or other damage. There is no need to worry if you both know what you are doing. Click on the link below to watch our video on how to have anal sex - it has great tips on how to do it if you are a top or a bottom:
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Q. I'm 15 years old and my penis is 16cm long and 15cm width is it normal?
A.View AnswerA lot of young guys worry about whether their dick is normal or not. But there really is no such thing as normal when it comes to shape and size of your cock. They come in all shapes and sizes and you can have awesome sex regardless of how big or small it is.
If you feel like you need to talk to someone more about it, we suggest calling 0800 80 2437 to make an appointment with one of the NZAF’s free nationwide counsellors. NZAF counsellors are there to listen and are used to talking through issues of all kinds.
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Q. I've been mainly a top since I've started having sex because quite often when I bottomed it quickly became uncomfortable, so I stopped trying for a few years. Recently though I've really wanted to get back into it as I keep hearing how great bottoming can feel when it's done right. I can take a dick well enough now that I've got the right mindset, but I can't seem to get that exciting feeling through prostate stimulation that a lot of other guys seem to be able to get. I've been reading up on it and tried tips like finding your prostate with your fingers and stimulating it etc. The problem is I can't seem to get that awesome sensation that most other guys seem to be getting. I do feel 'something', but it's neither a good nor bad feeling. Does your body take some time to learn how to take pleasure out of that feeling or am I just one of those unlucky few that can't seem to get any fun out of it at all?
A.View AnswerYes, it can take time to get used to the feeling and to find it pleasurable - some guys love it right away and some guys don’t. But if you keep trying and you still don’t get any pleasure from it then maybe it’s just not for you.
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Q. I'm 19 and I masturbate and cum. But when I cum it's only a little. How can I cum heaps?
A.View AnswerWanting to increase the amount of cum you squirt is certainly not uncommon. Increased volume translates into increased pleasure for you (the larger the volume, the greater number of orgasmic muscle contractions) and potentially increased pleasure for your partner (if they like to swallow).
So what causes your nads to pump more jizz? To begin with, there are factors that play a role in all other matters of your body: genetics, age, diet, and overall health. While the first two are obviously out of your control, your diet and exercise can improve the volume of your cum.
Amino acids such as L-arginine and L-lysine (found in plant and animal proteins, such as dairy products, meat, poultry, fish, and nuts) and zinc are all said to help up quantity, as is increasing your daily fluid intake (cum is made of 90% water so it makes sense that you should be drinking plenty of it).
Exercise is important too. Being fit and healthy help ensure good blood circulation, which can also help ejaculation.
How frequently you cum can also contribute to volume. If you don’t wank for a day or two, you’ll certainly produce more cum than you would if you came every few hours.
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Q. My boyfriend enjoys oral but whenever I give it to him he cums in my mouth. It tastes like off milk - is there anything he can eat to make it taste better?
A.View AnswerFirstly, you don’t have to let him cum in your mouth if you don’t like it. It’s not uncommon for guys to warn you when they’re about to cum and give you the option to take it in your mouth or not. If he’s not all that thoughtful you might consider letting him know how it tastes by holding it in your mouth and then kissing him. He might realise it’s a bit gross and think twice about it next time.
If you like having him cum in your mouth but just don’t like the taste, there are a few options. We’ve heard pineapple (real, not canned) works particularly well. There’s also some great ideas here: http://www.ironmagazineforums.com/sexual-health/73298-how-make-your-cum-taste-better.html
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Q. I'm 19 and I'm gay. My penis has these bright red spots on it and they are so sore. I always use a condom with my man and also my penis is curved and when I have anal with my man it hurts him. How can I fix these horrible problems?
A.View AnswerFirst, the red spots - It’s hard to tell exactly what it is from your description, however there is a chance it could be an STI. We recommend you get a sexual health checkup as soon as possible. The various places you can get a checkup are in the link below.
As for your curved penis, a quick Google search will reveal thousands of various methods of straightening a curved penis, many of which are non-surgical. However it’s always best to talk to a professional than to rely on information found on-line. We suggest you talk to a specialist who can help you make an informed decision. If you’re not sure who to talk to you can call our friends at NZAF on 0800 802437 - one of their counsellors should be able to refer you to a specialist in this area.
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Q. Is there any way to straighten a curved penis?
A.View AnswerA quick Google search will reveal thousands of various methods of straightening a curved penis, many of which are non-surgical. However it’s always best to talk to a professional than to rely on information found on-line. We suggest you talk to a specialist who can help you make an informed decision. If you’re not sure who to talk to you can call our friends at NZAF on 0800 802437 - one of their counsellors should be able to refer you to a specialist in this area.