Condoms
Top Four Q&A (Condoms)
All Q&A (Condoms)
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Q. Me and my boyfriend are both virgins and we are planning on having sex soon. I have been in other relationships but nothing really serious happened and I know I’m his first relationship. Should we get checked for STIs/STDs before we have sex? Can we even catch an STI/STD since we are both virgins?
A.View AnswerIt depends what you mean by “nothing really serious”. If you have had oral sex there is a chance of contracting certain STIs/STDs although the risk is still relatively low compared to other activities such as unprotected anal sex.
You probably don’t need to get tested. Just make sure you use condoms and water-based lube every time you have sex. It’s important to use condoms and lube, even if you’re in a relationship, because approximately half of all HIV infections among gay and bisexual men in NZ occur within relationships. That is, one partner unwittingly passes HIV onto the other partner without even realising they had it. So to protect yourself and your boyfriend you should get into the habit of using condoms and lube from your first time.
It may be a difficult conversation to have with your boyfriend, but it’s an important one to have if you want to protect each other. It might go something like this:
“Because you care for me I know that it would be really hard to tell me you’d fucked someone else. And it would be hard for me to tell you if I did the same. Since nothing’s as important as caring for each other, let’s use condoms.”
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Q. My boyfriend and I want to have unprotected sex. It will be my first time, and every time he had sex he used a condom. Can I contract an STI from him? Should I ask him to be checked?
A.View AnswerWithout being pessimistic, you don’t know for sure that he has always used condoms despite what he tells you. If he has asked you to have sex without condoms then how do you know he hasn’t also asked others? And if he had unprotected sex before, despite not exhibiting any symptoms, he may be carrying an STI (including HIV) and pass it on. Testing for STI’s is definitely a good idea, but the only way to really relax and know that your sex is safe is to use condoms and lube every time.
Also, if you continue a sexual relationship with this guy how do you know what else he is up to? Monogamy is not something you count on as a prevention method and we certainly wouldn’t recommend anyone do so. The reality is that approximately half of all HIV infections among gay and bisexual men in NZ occur within relationships. That is, one partner unwittingly passes HIV onto the other partner without even realising they had it.
It may be a difficult conversation to have with your partner, but it’s an important one to have if you want to protect each other. It might go something like this:“Because you care for me I know that it would be really hard to tell me you’d fucked someone else. That you’d had unprotected sex, and to be honest about everything else you might get up to. And it would be hard for me to tell you if I did any of those things. Since nothing’s as important as caring for each other, let’s use condoms.”
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Q. Can you get HIV if your partner doesn’t have it? Say two guys are going to have sex and both are virgins. Can they still get HIV from having sex unprotected?
A.View AnswerIf you are both virgins then the chances of either of you having HIV are very low, unless you’ve been in contact with infected blood at some point. So your risk of infecting one another is low. But if you start having sex without condoms, how will you keep safe over time?
Without being pessimistic, you don’t know for sure that he is a virgin despite what he tells you. Also, if you continue a sexual relationship with this guy how do you know what else he is up to? Monogamy is not something you count on as a prevention method and we certainly wouldn’t recommend anyone do so. The reality is that approximately half of all HIV infections among gay and bisexual men in NZ occur within relationships. That is, one partner unwittingly passes HIV onto the other partner without even realising they had it.
It may be a difficult conversation to have with your partner, but it’s an important one to have if you want to protect each other. It might go something like this:
“Because you care for me I know that it would be really hard to tell me you’d fucked someone else, that you’d had unprotected sex, and to be honest about everything else you might get up to. Just like it would be hard for me to tell you if I did any of those things. Since nothing’s as important as caring for each other, let’s use condoms.”
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Q. Is it possible to get an STI/STD or HIV if you are having bareback sex in a monogamous relationship and you’ve both tested negative for everything?
A.View AnswerYes it is possible for a couple of reasons.
First, an STI like HIV can take up to 3-months from the date of infection to show up in a test. So even if you’ve tested negative you need to take into account this 3-month ‘window period’.
Second, without being pessimistic, monogamy is not something you count on as a prevention method and we certainly wouldn’t recommend anyone do so. The reality is that approximately half of all HIV infections among gay and bisexual men in NZ occur within relationships. That is, one partner unwittingly passes HIV onto the other partner without even realising they had it.
It may be a difficult conversation to have with your partner, but it’s an important one to have if you want to protect each other. It might go something like this:
“Because you care for me I know that it would be really hard to tell me you’d fucked someone else, that you’d had unprotected sex, and to be honest about everything else you might get up to. Just like it would be hard for me to tell you if I did any of those things. Since nothing’s as important as caring for each other, let’s use condoms.”
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Q. Hi, I am 16 and would like to ask that if there is any kind of condom that would fit a penis that is over the size of 8" and under the size of 3". I can’t find any of these suitable ones on local and overseas pharmacies. Thanks!
A.View AnswerYes you can get condoms for these sizes. If you can’t find them in the pharmacy you can try buying them online – there are websites that sell condoms in all shapes and sizes. You could also ask your doctor or local family planning clinic for a recommendation.
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Q. Hi, I am 16 and would like to ask that if there is any kind of condom that would fit a penis that is over the size of 8" and under the size of 3". I can’t find any of these suitable ones on local and overseas pharmacies. Thanks!
A.View AnswerYes you can get condoms for these sizes. If you can’t find them in the pharmacy you can try buying them online – there are websites that sell condoms in all shapes and sizes. You could also ask your doctor or local family planning clinic for a recommendation.
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Q. How to put a condom on an uncut cock? I know how to put a condom on a circumcised penis, but when I found out my boyfreind is uncut I freaked because I dont know how to put a condom on uncut penises. I heard you have to roll the foreskin back then roll it back onto the penis etc but im so confused! Does the foreskin roll back, the condom go on, and the foreskin goes over on top of the condom?
A.View AnswerDon’t roll the foreskin back as this can cause the condom to come off when the foreskin slides back into place. Most uncut guys use the two-hand method of putting on a condom. Unroll the condom about 1cm, stretch the condom open using two finger from each hand and pull it over his head and down the shaft, then gently unroll it to the base of his cock. We have an awesome video that shows exactly how to do this. Just click on the link below to watch.
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Q. What dose the packaging look like on the free condoms and lube sachets?
A.View AnswerIt’s very discreet. The condoms and lube arrive in an unmarked letter-sized white envelope. It has your name and address printed on the front. There is nothing to indicate what is inside the envelope or who sent it.
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Q. What sort of condoms and lube should I use in the shower? I'm going to have sex in the shower with my FWB but I need to know what kind of condom we should use.
A.View AnswerLatex condoms and water-based lube are quite safe for use in the shower, but you should check and re-apply lube regularly as the water can potentially wash away the lube. Order free condoms and lube by clicking on the link below.
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Q. How many condoms and lube sachets do I get when I order the free condoms and lubes?
A.View AnswerWe’ll send you two condoms and two lube sachets each time. You can order them by clicking on the link below.
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Q. How many days does it take to get the free condom and lube delivered to my house? Im planning to do that someday.
A.View AnswerWe send the free condoms and lube once a fortnight so it depends on when you order. Allow up to 10 working days. Order your free condoms and lube by clicking on the link below:
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Q. My friend and I are bi and want to have sex. we are both 17 and our sexuality is a secret. We need to know how or where to get condoms and lube. We don't feel comfortable enough to go buy lube because it needs to be anal lube and don't want to be questioned by anyone about why we need that type. If you know of anywhere we can get condoms and lube on-line and receive it in a private box that would be much appreciated. Because we dont want the box saying what we are receiving. Thank you and I really hope to hear from you.
A.View AnswerOk, so the lube you want is a water-based lube such as KY Jelly or Durex Play. Water-based lube is very common and won’t damage a latex condom. The good news is this type of lube isn’t sold as “anal lube” - it’s the same lube that straight couples use and it can be purchased along with condoms from any pharmacy or supermarket. The even better news is you can get it for free here on our website. Click on the link below, fill out the form and we’ll send you 2 x condom and 2 x lube packs in an unmarked envelope, free of charge.
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Q. I had sex with a random guy about 2 weeks ago. He was a bit older than me. We used a condom and lube and all that and I was on the bottom. Unfortunately the condom broke right when he came and he came inside me. He apologised and insisted that he is clean. Obviously that means nothing. And I know HIV won't show up in a blood test for atleast 3 months so I'm unsure what to do in the mean time... is there is anything I should be doing?
A.View AnswerYou can get tested right away and you can do so by calling our friends at NZAF on 0800 802 437. 3 months is considered the international benchmark i.e. it could take up to that long for antibodies to be detected but in many cases they appear earlier. A diagnoses is possible earlier than the 3 month mark.
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Q. What are some ways you can masturbate with a condom?
A.View AnswerMasturbating with a condom is a great way to get used to the feeling of wearing a condom and can be a great new sensation if you haven’t tried it before. Simply masturbate as you normally would and see how it feels. If you want to try something new ribbed condoms should add to the pleasure…give it a go! The other great thing about masturbating with a condom is that it makes cleaning up a lot easier.
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Q. I have had sex with an unknown girl. I met her in a club then we came home and I fucked her without a condom. It's the first time I've had sex without a condom and I'm not sure about that girl. She has had sex before and she was telling me that she has also fucked unprotected once with another guy...I am afraid now :( Could I have HIV ?? Please help I'm 21 and she is 18.
A.View AnswerIf you’ve had unprotected sex then there is an increased chance of contracting HIV and other STIs such as syphilis and Hepatitis C. If you are concerned we suggest you call our friends at NZAF on 0800 802437 and book a free FASTest for HIV, syphilis and Hepatitis C. One painless finger prick is all they need from you, and within 10-20 minutes you will have your test results. Appointments can be booked anytime Monday to Friday, between 9am and 5pm.
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Q. My girlfriend wants to have anal sex and i'm willing to but we don't want to use a condom and get caught so, no condom. What can happen if I cum in her butt?
A.View AnswerWe’re not sure what you mean by getting caught - if you mean that you’re worried someone will find the used condom in the trash then you could always flush it down the toilet (don’t tell MetroWater we said that). Regardless, we recommend you use a condom because unprotected anal sex is by far the riskiest sexual activity, around 20 times riskier than vaginal sex.
Your dick is very vulnerable when it comes to STIs. It’s the moist lining inside the dick eye (the little hole at the end) and under your foreskin if you’re uncut that allows STIs to enter your body. And then there’s her arse - the lining of the arse is like a sponge that easily absorbs STIs. Condoms are the way to go.
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Q. This product advertises itself as "lube-able": http://www.rends.jp/en/products/lotion_01.php Is it safe for having fun in the bathtub? If the answer is yes, would it not also be safe to use the following products as the main ingredient is the same (Sodium polyacrylate)? I'd like to get more "bang" for my buck :-) Gelli Baff: http://www.gelli-baff.com (material safety data sheet: http://www.gellibaff.com/safety/files/msdsheet-4.pdf) Magic Slush powder: http://www.stevespanglerscience.com/product/water-gel
A.View AnswerFucking in the bathtub is relatively low-risk. However, do take into consideration that the water (of a bath) will wash away any water-based lube, resulting in potentially uncomfortable sex; but more importantly, an increased amount of friction resulting in a greater chance that the condom may break. To avoid this problem, you can use a nonwater-based lubricant.
Oil-based lubricants will destroy the latex and cause the condom to break. Most lubricants that claim that they can be used for sex in the water tend to be oil-based, so make sure to read the label carefully. Also, know that latex condoms are extremely vulnerable to breaking while in the water due to other oil-based products, such as sunscreen, tanning lotion, bath oils, bubble bath, soap, and shampoo, which may be commonly found in bathtubs.
Silicone-based lubricants are condom safe and water-resistant. Unlike oil-based ones, silicone is safe to use on latex condoms. Silicone is a synthetic substance that retains its slippery properties longer than water-based lubricants. It is not water-soluble, does not react with the body (if it doesn’t have any additives), and is not absorbed by the skin. Since it is water-resistant, silicone lubricants may be difficult to wash off (your body, clothes, sheets, etc.), it tends to be more expensive than water-based lubrication, and some people complain that it has a coating effect on the skin.
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Q. If six weeks after having sex with a guy where I was being fucked (I'm a guy too) I'm getting a sore throat and dry skin that started a couple of weeks after and wont go away, could that mean there may be something wrong? I was negative before I met this guy and we wore condoms..
A.View AnswerIf you had unprotected oral sex it is possible you have picked up an infection in your throat such as gonorrhoea. If you have concerns you should seek medical advice. We recommend that you arrange an appointment at a Sexual Health Clinic and get tested.
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Q. I'm asking about the specifics of your free condoms. I'm really paranoid about privacy - can I ask what sort of package the free condoms/lube are delivered in, what is written/not written on them, and what dimensions the packages are?
A.View AnswerYou’ll be glad to know we are careful with your privacy. The package is simply a small unmarked envelope containing two condoms and two lube sachets. We only write your name and postal address on the envelope. For the return address we only write our PO-Box number so nobody will be able to know who the sender is. Click here to order the free condoms:
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Q. A week ago I had sex with a guy I have been with once before. This week I had an HIV test and it came back negative so I must be clear from the first time I was with him as it is now outside the window period. The last time (a week ago) I was the ^bottom^ and he wore a condom , and also pulled out long before he came. He says he tested 2 months ago and was also clear, but now I have this annoying paranoid feeling that’s hard to shake. I know I did everything right with condoms and lube, and the fact he didn’t finish inside must help a bit. Would there be much of a chance of getting anything? I also plan to get tested again in a few weeks .
A.View AnswerHi, the window period for HIV is 3 months, so if your last test was 3 months after a possible infection point was negative then you are fine. In regards to the sex you had last week, awesome! You did everything right, and as a result you don’t need to worry about having contracted HIV. Condoms and lube allow you to have worry-free, hot sex. This means that both the status of your partner, and pulling out (pre-cum can contain HIV so if you don’t use a condom pulling out is not a prevention method!) are irrelevant, you can just relax and have fun.
If you still have concerns it may help to talk to someone about it, the NZAF provides free nationwide counselling, just ring 080080AIDS to make an appointment.
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Q. Hey, I'm a virgin and am contemplating hiring a male escort for sex. What are your thoughts on this? Also If I do go through with it and we both wear condoms, do you think I’ll be safe? (disease wise).
A.View AnswerHi, we are not here to judge anybody for who they have sex with, what we do care about is that whenever you have (hopefully awesome) sex you are using condoms & lube, and therefore safe from HIV and other STIs. The first time you have anal sex can BE a long and difficult process, and to ensure you are safe, it is not something you should rush. Whoever your first partner is, be sure it is someone you can communicate with, and who with whom you can be confident and relaxed. For more info check out our First Timers guide http://www.getiton.co.nz/great-sex-safe-sex/first-timers/
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Q. What is the risk of getting syphilis and/or gonorrhea if condoms are used in anal sex please?
A.View AnswerCondoms and lube greatly reduce transmission of Syphilis and Gonorrhea for anal sex, except in the circumstance of early infection where Syphilis can be transferred through skin contact with Syphilitic lesions. These lesions are mostly found on the genital skin so it’s wise to have a quick glance at your partner’s skin before engaging in sexual contact, if you have any concerns perhaps hold off until you have both had check ups.
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Q. Can AIDS/HIV be passed if you neither you or your sex partner have it? I heard that it's safe to have unprotected sex if neither of you have the virus because it can't be created, only passed on.
A.View AnswerYou are right that HIV can’t be created, only passed on, but how do you know neither you nor your partner already has the virus, or other STIs? There are many reasons your partner may tell you that it is okay to have unprotected sex, but in the end the only sexual history you can be sure of is your own. And if you have had unprotected sex before, despite not exhibiting any symptoms, you may be carrying an STI (including HIV) and pass it on to your partner. We recommend regular testing to make sure. But the only way to really relax and know your sex is safe is to wear condoms and lube every time.
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Q. I had sex with a random guy recently. He used a condom and lube to have sex with me. But I'm still stressing! I'm going to the 'clinic' tomorrow for a full check up. If I come back clear of any STIs, is that a good indication that I won't HIV? Or at least decrease my chance?
A.View AnswerIt is true that having an STI can increase the risk of transmission of HIV if you have unprotected sex with a HIV positive person. Being clear of chlamydia and gonohoerrea is always good news although it does not rule out an HIV infection. As you used condoms and lube the chances of you contracting HIV are extremely remote. If you are still concerned you could get in touch with the New Zealand AIDS Foundation and talk to one of their free nationwide counsellors- just call 09 3095560.
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Q. I try to put a condom on and it hurts my cock, what do I do?
A.View AnswerThis might be due to several reasons, first of all check to see if you are putting the condom on correctly by clicking on the link to our instructional video at the bottom of the page.
Also, if your cock is on the large side you may need to use the two hand method (as shown in the video) or even get some larger condoms. There are many different sizes and types out there, I’m sure you’ll be able to find one that works for you.