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Hopefully here is where you'll find the answers to the questions you've been wondering about, if you don't see an answer to your question, ask us!
Ask a Question
Our sexperts can answer anything you have to ask – Don’t be shy, you can’t shock or embarrass us – we want to hear from you, so feel free to ask anything you like about sex, HIV, relationships or sexual health. We want to hear from you and give you the answers you need to help you have a great and safe sex life. We don’t need your name or email address, so feel free to ask away.
Ask a QuestionAm I Normal?
Q. I am 17 and from a very small town far away from others. I only just recently met other gay kids around my age but I have found out that out of them all I'm the only one that still has my virginity and nearly all of them are younger than me. I talked to someone that facilitates a group for gay youth and he himself told me I was weird for not losing my virginity yet. He seemed surprised. Am I weird? Because I really feel like it.
No, you’re not weird. Many guys lose their virginity at a much later age than 17. There really is no such thing as a normal age to lose your virginity. To be honest, some guys talk shit when they talk about losing their virginity so you’re not doing yourself any favours by comparing yourself to them. Do what feels right for you, don’t worry about what others tell you, and don’t feel pressured into doing something just because you think everyone else is doing it. You only lose your virginity once and the memory of it will stick with your forever so you better make sure it’s on your terms and it’s what you want to do.
Condoms
Q. How to put a condom on an uncut cock? I know how to put a condom on a circumcised penis, but when I found out my boyfreind is uncut I freaked because I dont know how to put a condom on uncut penises. I heard you have to roll the foreskin back then roll it back onto the penis etc but im so confused! Does the foreskin roll back, the condom go on, and the foreskin goes over on top of the condom?
Don’t roll the foreskin back as this can cause the condom to come off when the foreskin slides back into place. Most uncut guys use the two-hand method of putting on a condom. Unroll the condom about 1cm, stretch the condom open using two finger from each hand and pull it over his head and down the shaft, then gently unroll it to the base of his cock. We have an awesome video that shows exactly how to do this. Just click on the link below to watch.
First Timers
Q. I recently started having sex but I don't have a partner to have sex with and I'm only 14 and dating sites don't take that age. What do I do?
We know that youth are engaging in all sorts of sexual behaviour at all sorts of ages. We’re not here to judge, but we will point out that having sex with someone under the age of 16 is against the law. We suggest giving the great team at YOUTHline a call on 0800 37 66 33 to talk it out. As for where to meet other people - dating sites are not a safe way for someone your age to meet someone. If you are gay or bisexual we suggest joining a group with Rainbow Youth or another local gay youth group where you can meet like-minded young people.
Risky Business
Q. I’m male and I got drunk and had unprotected sex for almost 10 min. I did not cum because after I realised what I was doing I stopped. Then I went to pee because I heard it's better and washed my penis (I'm circumcised). So what are the chances of catching HIV?
Regardless of the fact that you washed your penis and had a pee afterwards, having unprotected anal sex does put you at greater risk of contracting HIV. The best thing to do is contact our friends at NZAF and arrange a FASTest - a free HIV test that takes less than 20 minutes. You can call them on 0800 80 2437. And feel free to order some free condom and lube packs to keep in your pocket - that way you can have worry-free hot sex next time. Just click on the link below
STI's & HIV
Q. My penis foreskin is really tight and it won't fold back at all when erect. I have seen my GP and I am currently awaiting a referral. If I have sex in the meantime, what infections am I and my sexual partner at risk of?
Regardless of what is happening with your foreskin, if you use condoms and lube you are very low risk of any infections. Click on the link below to order free condoms and lube.
Coming Out
Q. Is it weird that I have a girlfriend and crave her pussy...but like guy porn but would never get with a guy? I am not gay and I am not bi as I would never get with anyone but what does this mean I am?
It may sound cliche, but you really don’t need to attach a label to your situation. There are straight guys out there who enjoy watching gay porn - some of them might never end up fucking a guy and some might. It doesn’t need to be defined or labelled. However, it might be worth talking to someone about it, especially if it is causing you to worry. We suggest calling 0800 80 2437 to make an appointment with one of the NZAF’s free nationwide counselors.
Hooking Up
Q. I recently started having sex but I don't have a partner to have sex with and I'm only 14 and dating sites don't take that age. What do I do?
We know that youth are engaging in all sorts of sexual behaviour at all sorts of ages. We’re not here to judge, but we will point out that having sex with someone under the age of 16 is against the law. We suggest giving the great team at YOUTHline a call on 0800 37 66 33 to talk it out. As for where to meet other people - dating sites are not a safe way for someone your age to meet someone. If you are gay or bisexual we suggest joining a group with Rainbow Youth or another local gay youth group where you can meet like-minded young people.
Dicks, Balls & Arses
Q. My penis foreskin is really tight and it won't fold back at all when erect. I have seen my GP and I am currently awaiting a referral. If I have sex in the meantime, what infections am I and my sexual partner at risk of?
Regardless of what is happening with your foreskin, if you use condoms and lube you are very low risk of any infections. Click on the link below to order free condoms and lube.
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