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The awesome team at NZAF Health Services are here to answer any questions you might have about sex, sexuality, gender, relationships and everything in-between. Wherever you are in NZ, click here to book free counselling or a HIV Rapid Test, results in 20 minutes!
Ask a QuestionAm I Normal?
Q. I have no health problems as far as I know, have been checked for STI's and am all clear. I’m asking about semen viscosity. I think my semen is very thick as all the porn I have seen their cum isn’t nearly as thick, it seems to be a normal colour from research a milky white colour. But mine is really thick like thicker than congealed blood. Is this normal and if so what does it mean?
It would normally take up to an hour for semen to liquefy after ejaculation. One of the main factors affecting semen viscosity is hydration, which means men who want thin semen need to drink plenty of water. Sufficient hydration usually requires from six to eight glasses of water each day, though more is often necessary for men who exercise or work outside in warm weather. It usually takes a few days of staying sufficiently hydrated to see an improvement in semen viscosity. Other factors which can affect semen viscosity are some medications and infections. If you are concerned you should go talk to your GP or physician.
Condoms
Q. Can you get latex-free condoms on prescription from your GP?
Unfortunately latex-free condoms are not available on prescription in New Zealand because they are not subsidised by Pharmac. They are available from your local pharmacy or supermarket, but would incur a cost.
First Timers
Q. I love girls but right now I would not mind doing it with a guy just to see what it's like. Is this ok?
If having sex with guys is something you have given some thought to and you are confident and happy about that decision then what’s standing in your way? Just remember to keep safe and use a condom and lube every time. Remember condoms not only protect you from contracting HIV but sexually transmitted infections too. If this is your first time you may find the video on how to have anal sex useful. Click on the link below to watch.
Risky Business
Q. Is it safe to swallow your own semen or urine?
There is no problem with swallowing your own cum, because you can’t catch HIV or any STI’s from yourself.
As for urine, unless a person has a urinary tract infection or STI, urine, itself, is sterile, so it would theoretically be safe to drink. However drinking your own urine might put strain on your kidneys because urine contains unwanted waste products from the body. If you drank it, it would have no valuable nutrients and all those waste products would need to be re-filtered back out of the blood. This would add on extra work for the kidneys, which can’t be good for you.
STI's & HIV
Q. I read about someone doing HIV tests at the Centaurian Sauna of random people to see how prevalent HIV is. Can you tell what the results were?
We think you might be referring to a recent study that Otago University did at the Get it On! Big Gay Out where over 1000 guys were orally tested for HIV. The full results of that study are available at the link below. But in a nutshell the findings were that 1 in 15 gay and bisexual Auckland men is HIV-positive, and of those who are positive 1 in 5 are unaware that they are infected.
On a separate note, our friends at NZAF are conducting HIV fast tests at Centaurian Sauna every Tuesday between 1pm and 3pm. This is not part of a study. It is private, confidential and purely for your own benefit of knowing your status.
Coming Out
Q. Ever since I was young people have suspected that I am gay, including my family. This has affected me hugely, to the point where I now have a girlfriend but I’m still attracted to guys 100%. I’m confused and have no idea what I should do in my situation. I’m scared to come out and I don’t want to hurt or embarrass my girlfriend. What can help?
It sounds really hard for you at the moment, so it’s good that you’ve made contact. Lots of guys have taken this journey before you and faced similar struggles. It sounds like it would be good for you to have a good talk to somebody about these things. Depending on your location, you may like to contact Rainbow Youth, Outline or you could contact the counselling team at NZAF (links for all these services are available below). The people you will meet in these places are very easy to talk to, experienced and skilled with issues similar to the ones you described. These are big issues so no wonder you are confused. I hope you get in touch with one of these services, they are here to help you.
Hooking Up
Q. I'm a young guy who is bisexual. Although I have already experimented with females, I am now wanting to hook up with some guys. I have friends at schools all over Auckland but I don't know anyone that is gay or bisexual so I can't meet and experiment with them. What do you suggest I do if I am wanting to meet some gay guys who are looking for fun and not a relationship?
If you’re wanting to meet other young people like you, you could look at joining one of the groups at Rainbow Youth (link below). These guys aren’t necessarily looking for fun, but the groups are a safe place to make friends and you never know who you’ll meet.
If you’re over 18, you can try hook-up sites such as Bro Online or Manhunt and mobile phone apps such as Grindr. You should read our guidelines to hooking up online so you can stay safe (link below).
Dicks, Balls & Arses
Q. I am gay and have been with my partner for about 2.5years. We have anal sex average two times a week. I often hear people saying that a bottom's rectum area would become very loose eventually because the penis would stretch our ass when we have anal sex. As a bottom, I sometimes get worried about this fact that my ass can be loose in the future? My partner often says that would not happen unless I abuse my ass with some abnormal activities such as double or triple penetrating or using an abnormally giant dildo etc... I was considering to ask my GP about this but I thought it is quite embarrassing. It would be awesome if you guys could help me and give me "THE ANSWER".
Thanks for your question about anal sex and your concern that this will cause issues later in life. You are not the first one to have concerns about stretching of the ass. Pleasurable anal sex (with plenty of lube) does not cause harm to your anus or rectum. Your partner is right that there are some sexual practices that could cause issues over a prolonged period of time, such as fisting or multiple-penetration. But if you’re not doing those things, and you’re using water-based lube with your condoms then you shouldn’t have anything to worry about.
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