Types Around Town: The Bear

The Gay Bear is not such a new phenomenon anymore, he's been around and in public for a while. If you ask one just what it is that makes a bear, you'll get lots of different responses - there is no one fixed pattern. But there are some points in common. Bear Pride, as a subset of our wider gay world really got going in the 90s, and it seems to get bigger all the time. Some people think it might have started as a reaction to he way AIDS had such an impact in the 80s, and so many guys got so skinny as their infections worsened, so looking a bit beefy and chunky was a sign of health, but that's only a theory.

As the name suggests, bears don't buy into the whole shaved/waxed body look - they like body-hair and see nothing wrong showing it off. And they tend to like facial hair - it's rare to find a clean-shaven bear unless work has demanded it.

Bears tend to be bigger - they won't fit into a pair of skinny jeans, and they don't want to. Some are serious gym-bunnies, and bulk themselves up, others are just happy to let nature take its course as they age, and relax into a bit of middle-aged spread. Some are lean and keen.

Usually you think of bears as being a bit older, but it seems the look and feel is getting more popular with younger guys too now. Younger bears get called cubs in this tribe, or if they're skinny, otters. Older guys do tend to feel at home in the bear world, and they've often got heaps of knowledge about lots of stuff about being gay, from HIV to politics.

Bears value a strong, masculine look and attitude, and in that way they're the natural successors to the gay clones of the pre-AIDS 1970s. That doesn't mean they don't joke or can't camp it up - they do and they can, but they're often as happy changing a tyre as they are baking cupcakes.

The bear community seems to have strong international links, and that shows the popularity of it. Just this weekend we had the Bearracuda dance party here in Auckland, a party for bears that has its base in the USA, but has been here two times now. There were men over for it from Australia and the USA, which shows how the network operates. Nearly 400 hot sweaty bears dancing the night away - it's a lot of fun.

They do have a reputation for sexual adventure and being a bit more open to the wild side of things, but that's not everyone. Some bears are deep into kink and orgies, others lead lives of quiet happy couples, who only have eyes for each other.

The main thing about being a bear is a sense of inclusiveness and community. You don't have to fit into any of the stereotypes that come to mind. Bears tend to be pretty laid-back and open to any gay man who wants to join in, and that is one of the things a lot of guys like about the scene. You don't have to try too hard to have the right body or the right clothes, it's a comfortable place for guys who don't feel like they fit in to the mainstream gay culture today.

And like any of the tribes in the gay world, it's not set in concrete, the idea of being a bear isn't to limit you, but to make your life better, to help you meet groups of men who like the same sort of thing. Bears are friendly, bears are fun - check them out, you just might enjoy it.